I think I said no life updates and I don't think I am breaking that promise with this one. I am not discussing my goals or future plans. Just rehashing something that happened last night.
As most of you that read my blog regularly know, I am in a very unhappy marriage. We have moments of happy, but those are few and far between as of late. I can honestly say that "happy" hasn't been in this house in about five years. We survive. After so many years of "surviving" you forget that this isn't what happy feels like.
We don't communicate well at all, which is why last night came as a bit of a surprise. I had a raging caffeine headache and was really not in the mood for a deep discussion which is always the time he wants to have these life altering talks.
I finally gave in because I knew that was the quickest way to get some sleep. Never in my life have I been so honest with him. I just told him I had completely checked out and didn't think I could ever find my place in this relationship again. I simply ceased to care enough to try any longer.
He didn't enjoy hearing that, but I told him down the road, when he looks back, he will see I didn't make him very happy either and he will be glad this happened. In all honesty, I checked out of this relationship five years or so ago. My kids kept me here as well as the fear of going out on my own with the two little ones.
While I won't discuss any future plans, I will say that it is now quite clear where we stand with one another. With him, this could go very calmly or could suddenly erupt into a nightmare. I am praying for calm for reasons I can't discuss.
For now my focus is on making whatever transitions the children must undergo in the next several months, smooth and as painless as possible. I have said quite firmly more than once that our sole concern should be those two babies and making sure they understand both their parents love them and will always do whatever necessary to protect them.
It was a difficult yet somewhat weight lifting conversation. This morning I felt more than ready to hit the trail and take Emily for our morning walk. I felt such a sense of relief knowing that the pretending ended last night. No more putting a smile on my face and discussing "our" future. We do not have one as a couple, and I am perfectly okay with that.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Negativity can kiss my ass
The day started out AMAZING. I got a phone call at 6 am (who does that?) that was nothing but great news that put a smile on my face and made me happy. By 8:20 I had totally put that out of my head and was starting to have a meltdown. I couldn't find Caleb's school binder (still have no clue where that thing is), Em is sick and really feeling yucky, I needed to get cash at the store before dropping Caleb off, and a whole bunch of other nonsense. I could feel my tension rising and realized it had to stop.
A friend once told me that after you spend time in a difficult relationship, your body begins to crave that adrenaline that comes from the constant walking on egg shells, so that even when life is calm (especially when life is calm) your body makes you feel there is something wrong and you try and trigger the stress it craves.
Textbook case this morning. Things were going well, extremely well, so how could I sabotage it? I almost did, but today I stopped myself and said no way. Today I didn't allow myself to go to that dark place.
I shook off the bad mood as best I could and told myself no matter what, Emily and I were taking our walk. I did change the location from the beach to here at home around the lake as usual. Emily is really sick with a cold and the last thing she needed was that ocean breeze.
Because of trick or treating last night, the stroller was in the back of my car, which was perfect. I didn't even have to come in and look at all the things I needed to to around the house and give myself the chance to cancel the walk. We got home from dropping Caleb off and loaded up in the stroller and headed out.
I can't say it was easy or I had some magic epiphany. I can say it felt good. Emily loves these morning walks and I do as well. I was doing some mental debating as we began trying to convince myself if I didn't feel like walking the whole way, that would be okay. I could walk to the end of the block and just turn around and head home. That counted, right? NO, it doesn't.
The end of the block came and I told myself that the route stayed the same no matter what. I had to chant "eye on the prize" about a million times, but before long we were at the lake. Oh, what fun that was.
I think I have mentioned the um, somewhat disturbed, homeless man that typically stands outside the 7-11 with a sign that reads "Obama sucks...vote Romney". He is out there for hours. Well, not today. Oh no, today he was dumpster diving at the lake. Lucky me. There is one large path around the lake. He was going the same way on the path that I happened to be going. At every turn he had to remind me that Obama "sucked" and that I should vote for Romney. Why thank you, I take all my political advice from homeless men dumpster diving.
I finally got ahead of him and happily finished the walk around the lake and began the walk back home. We had just walked inside our gates when who do I see? Yes, Romney's campaign manager. Great, now he knows where I live. Would it be wrong to wear an "Obama" shirt tomorrow for my walk?
Today negativity tried to get the better of me, but I am pleased to say I kicked its ass. Will I do it tomorrow? I can't say for sure, but I can say I am damn sure going to try.
Now time to run some errands and have a wonderful rest of my day.
A friend once told me that after you spend time in a difficult relationship, your body begins to crave that adrenaline that comes from the constant walking on egg shells, so that even when life is calm (especially when life is calm) your body makes you feel there is something wrong and you try and trigger the stress it craves.
Textbook case this morning. Things were going well, extremely well, so how could I sabotage it? I almost did, but today I stopped myself and said no way. Today I didn't allow myself to go to that dark place.
I shook off the bad mood as best I could and told myself no matter what, Emily and I were taking our walk. I did change the location from the beach to here at home around the lake as usual. Emily is really sick with a cold and the last thing she needed was that ocean breeze.
Because of trick or treating last night, the stroller was in the back of my car, which was perfect. I didn't even have to come in and look at all the things I needed to to around the house and give myself the chance to cancel the walk. We got home from dropping Caleb off and loaded up in the stroller and headed out.
I can't say it was easy or I had some magic epiphany. I can say it felt good. Emily loves these morning walks and I do as well. I was doing some mental debating as we began trying to convince myself if I didn't feel like walking the whole way, that would be okay. I could walk to the end of the block and just turn around and head home. That counted, right? NO, it doesn't.
The end of the block came and I told myself that the route stayed the same no matter what. I had to chant "eye on the prize" about a million times, but before long we were at the lake. Oh, what fun that was.
I think I have mentioned the um, somewhat disturbed, homeless man that typically stands outside the 7-11 with a sign that reads "Obama sucks...vote Romney". He is out there for hours. Well, not today. Oh no, today he was dumpster diving at the lake. Lucky me. There is one large path around the lake. He was going the same way on the path that I happened to be going. At every turn he had to remind me that Obama "sucked" and that I should vote for Romney. Why thank you, I take all my political advice from homeless men dumpster diving.
I finally got ahead of him and happily finished the walk around the lake and began the walk back home. We had just walked inside our gates when who do I see? Yes, Romney's campaign manager. Great, now he knows where I live. Would it be wrong to wear an "Obama" shirt tomorrow for my walk?
Today negativity tried to get the better of me, but I am pleased to say I kicked its ass. Will I do it tomorrow? I can't say for sure, but I can say I am damn sure going to try.
Now time to run some errands and have a wonderful rest of my day.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
OSA Day 3
Today was a change. I went walking with a friend over in her neighborhood. We thought a change of scenery would be nice and it would give us a chance to talk. Yes, I do have local friends, no matter what people think.
The walk was a bit shorter than what I have been doing, but there was this nasty hill than kind of sneaks up on you. It wasn't a HILL in the sense of OMG that is one hell of a hill, but more a "you can do this, I am more like a ramp...no biggie" until you start walking up it. It then becomes Mt. Everest and handed me my ass on a platter. The upside was that I was worried the shorter walk would not be enough for me. I am pleased to say, it was more than enough.
We rushed home and chilled for a bit before time to go back to Caleb's school for "family lunch day". Thankfully he wanted something different than the norm, so I had no lines to wait in to pick up his food. Double score that I convinced him that signing him out and coming home to eat would be way more fun. Poor thing was ready since I totally forgot to pack him a change of clothes for after the costume parade and he was sweating like crazy.
Now we are home and getting ready to finish up his homework so he can go out tonight without worry. My legs are not near as sore as yesterday and my feet have agreed to a temporary truce, so I am thinking this is working.
I keep getting a few people that are amazed I can give up sugar without much trouble. The truth is, with the exception of soda (which I kind of weaned off of a few months ago) and sweet tea, I don't do sugar. I am not a huge cookie or candy person, so it isn't that difficult. When I was about twelve, my mom met my step dad and since he preferred no sugar, she stopped making sweet tea. I could either sweeten my own or learn to deal. I learned to deal and can drink it unsweetened fairly easily.
I have a goal and my eye is very firmly focused on the prize. Thanks to a very dear friend that kind of put it all into perspective, I know where my focus should be and the rest just has to figure itself out later.
Seems we will be trick or treating in our old neighborhood again. Caleb expressed his desire to drive over, so my plans on staying close to home have been altered. Hey, I can go with the flow and I know the route over there far better than over here, so we know he will get tons of candy.
I will be posting pics tomorrow. I can't wait to see Emily actually in her costume. I have refused to let her wear it before since I knew she wouldn't want to take it off. Last year it was almost Christmas before she wouldn't ask to put her Olivia costume on, and this one is so super cute, I didn't want it ruined.
So, there you have it Operation Skinny Ass day 3 was an ass kicker and we are going out begging for candy tonight. Good times.
The walk was a bit shorter than what I have been doing, but there was this nasty hill than kind of sneaks up on you. It wasn't a HILL in the sense of OMG that is one hell of a hill, but more a "you can do this, I am more like a ramp...no biggie" until you start walking up it. It then becomes Mt. Everest and handed me my ass on a platter. The upside was that I was worried the shorter walk would not be enough for me. I am pleased to say, it was more than enough.
We rushed home and chilled for a bit before time to go back to Caleb's school for "family lunch day". Thankfully he wanted something different than the norm, so I had no lines to wait in to pick up his food. Double score that I convinced him that signing him out and coming home to eat would be way more fun. Poor thing was ready since I totally forgot to pack him a change of clothes for after the costume parade and he was sweating like crazy.
Now we are home and getting ready to finish up his homework so he can go out tonight without worry. My legs are not near as sore as yesterday and my feet have agreed to a temporary truce, so I am thinking this is working.
I keep getting a few people that are amazed I can give up sugar without much trouble. The truth is, with the exception of soda (which I kind of weaned off of a few months ago) and sweet tea, I don't do sugar. I am not a huge cookie or candy person, so it isn't that difficult. When I was about twelve, my mom met my step dad and since he preferred no sugar, she stopped making sweet tea. I could either sweeten my own or learn to deal. I learned to deal and can drink it unsweetened fairly easily.
I have a goal and my eye is very firmly focused on the prize. Thanks to a very dear friend that kind of put it all into perspective, I know where my focus should be and the rest just has to figure itself out later.
Seems we will be trick or treating in our old neighborhood again. Caleb expressed his desire to drive over, so my plans on staying close to home have been altered. Hey, I can go with the flow and I know the route over there far better than over here, so we know he will get tons of candy.
I will be posting pics tomorrow. I can't wait to see Emily actually in her costume. I have refused to let her wear it before since I knew she wouldn't want to take it off. Last year it was almost Christmas before she wouldn't ask to put her Olivia costume on, and this one is so super cute, I didn't want it ruined.
So, there you have it Operation Skinny Ass day 3 was an ass kicker and we are going out begging for candy tonight. Good times.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Operation Skinny Ass
Day 2
OMG is all I can say. I went from being a fairly inactive (as inactive as a mom of five can be) to a walking machine. Yes, I realize that my distance leaves a lot to be desired, but since this is only day 2, I am pretty happy to report I made it 3.8 miles today. That is .5 more than yesterday.
My body fought me all morning long. I didn't want to go. My legs were sore. I won't even mention my poor feet and the condition they are in, but I knew I HAD to go. Thankfully I have some awesome friends on Facebook that were ready to kick my ass if I didn't get out there.
It would have been so simple to take a shorter route today and just pacify myself with "at least I walked", but once I got out I knew this would be the route I had planned after yesterdays walk. My goal was to increase my distance while making the best use of the lake path. I thought about it all last night and realized with just a simple route change, I could add that .5 to my workout.
So, Miss Emily and I dropped Caleb off at school, came home, and off we went. I knew that if I gave it even a seconds thought, I would come up with some reason why today's walk should be cancelled. The man (who was home since he worked last night) did his best to discourage me without sounding discouraging. I didn't even look back to see what he was saying, we just headed out the door.
Getting started had to be the most difficult today. By the time I had made it halfway down the road I was thinking how much longer it seemed as opposed to yesterday. Emily is the best partner though. She insisted I take the earbuds out and we enjoy the music through the speakers on the stroller. Hearing her sing along got me giggling and the journey became a bit easier. In no time we were at the lake.
Today's path required a bit of winding around in order to maximize the full path and get the miles in needed. We set out and found our rhythm pretty easily. Soon, Em grew tired of my music and wanted the phone. Earbuds went back in and pretty quickly we were done with the 1.5 route of the lake. Now off the path and the longer route back home.
I seriously thought that last bit was going to be the end of me. I was DRAGGING and still had over a mile before we were home. No way in hell was I going to call for someone to come pick us up. We were so close. I could do this.
I put some Train on and I just pushed my way each step. By the time we reached our road, I was thrilled. I had done what I didn't think I could and felt great. Okay, maybe "great" is an over statement. Truth be told, my feet are killing me, my legs are burning, and I feel like I got hit by a mack truck, BUT overall I feel great.
Tomorrow we are sticking to our 3.8 path. I want to push myself without killing myself. Day 2 without sugar and sweets is going okay. I just keep telling myself that nothing taste as good as skinny feels.
I am off to beg my feet for forgiveness. See you on Day Three.
OMG is all I can say. I went from being a fairly inactive (as inactive as a mom of five can be) to a walking machine. Yes, I realize that my distance leaves a lot to be desired, but since this is only day 2, I am pretty happy to report I made it 3.8 miles today. That is .5 more than yesterday.
My body fought me all morning long. I didn't want to go. My legs were sore. I won't even mention my poor feet and the condition they are in, but I knew I HAD to go. Thankfully I have some awesome friends on Facebook that were ready to kick my ass if I didn't get out there.
It would have been so simple to take a shorter route today and just pacify myself with "at least I walked", but once I got out I knew this would be the route I had planned after yesterdays walk. My goal was to increase my distance while making the best use of the lake path. I thought about it all last night and realized with just a simple route change, I could add that .5 to my workout.
So, Miss Emily and I dropped Caleb off at school, came home, and off we went. I knew that if I gave it even a seconds thought, I would come up with some reason why today's walk should be cancelled. The man (who was home since he worked last night) did his best to discourage me without sounding discouraging. I didn't even look back to see what he was saying, we just headed out the door.
Getting started had to be the most difficult today. By the time I had made it halfway down the road I was thinking how much longer it seemed as opposed to yesterday. Emily is the best partner though. She insisted I take the earbuds out and we enjoy the music through the speakers on the stroller. Hearing her sing along got me giggling and the journey became a bit easier. In no time we were at the lake.
Today's path required a bit of winding around in order to maximize the full path and get the miles in needed. We set out and found our rhythm pretty easily. Soon, Em grew tired of my music and wanted the phone. Earbuds went back in and pretty quickly we were done with the 1.5 route of the lake. Now off the path and the longer route back home.
I seriously thought that last bit was going to be the end of me. I was DRAGGING and still had over a mile before we were home. No way in hell was I going to call for someone to come pick us up. We were so close. I could do this.
I put some Train on and I just pushed my way each step. By the time we reached our road, I was thrilled. I had done what I didn't think I could and felt great. Okay, maybe "great" is an over statement. Truth be told, my feet are killing me, my legs are burning, and I feel like I got hit by a mack truck, BUT overall I feel great.
Tomorrow we are sticking to our 3.8 path. I want to push myself without killing myself. Day 2 without sugar and sweets is going okay. I just keep telling myself that nothing taste as good as skinny feels.
I am off to beg my feet for forgiveness. See you on Day Three.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Truth is
I stole this idea from April. She loves me though, so I'm sure she won't mind.
Truth is, I have never connected with anyone the way I connect with you.
Truth is, I am a fantastic actress and can fake it with the best of them. Those smiling faces of me right after I moved here? They just hid the absolute sadness and were put on because I knew you would somehow see the pictures. We ran with a small group, honestly, I knew and wanted you to hurt.
Truth is, I hoped you would see me with someone else and realize your mistake.
Truth is, when I tried several times to get you to respond and got nothing, I put you in the back of my mind and did the best I could to make a life for myself with the man in my life.
Truth is, I was happy at times. I could go months without you crossing my mind.
Truth is, it would be the stupidest thing that brought you to the forefront. Like I am flipping channels one night and "The Mummy" is showing. BAM, I'm right back there in San Antonio walking along the river with you.
Truth is, I always hoped we would find each other again.
Truth is, I would have left in a heartbeat had you said "come back".
Truth is, that would have been a mistake for both of us. Not because "we" are wrong, but because "I" was reacting and not thinking.
Truth is, those I love the most in the world feel like this is going to end with me hurt even more.
Truth is, as much as I love them and respect their opinion, I don't care what they think. There were only two people in this relationship and we are the only two that can know what we felt. (To those dear friends that are reading this, I love you dearly and I know you come from a place of love. Please don't take my words wrong)
Truth is, never has the sound of someones voice made me smile the way that yours does.
Truth is, making love to you was the closest I have ever felt to perfect.
Truth is, I hate what I said to you. I would take it back and tell you I'd wait forever if only you would answer my call.
Truth is, I am putting my body through hell in the hopes that someday you will pass my way and fall in love all over again. I gave up all sugar...we all know how much I love sugar.
Truth is, you are worth it.
Truth is, I remember our conversation last year at this time talking about carving pumpkins and taking the kids trick or treating and wish it were you by our side this year.
Truth is, there are days I wonder if this is all a waste of time. Have I lost you for good?
Truth is, I can't even think about that because it would break my heart.
Truth is, I love you. I fell in love with you in San Antonio...
Truth is, I wish you would say something...anything...please.
Truth is, I have never connected with anyone the way I connect with you.
Truth is, I am a fantastic actress and can fake it with the best of them. Those smiling faces of me right after I moved here? They just hid the absolute sadness and were put on because I knew you would somehow see the pictures. We ran with a small group, honestly, I knew and wanted you to hurt.
Truth is, I hoped you would see me with someone else and realize your mistake.
Truth is, when I tried several times to get you to respond and got nothing, I put you in the back of my mind and did the best I could to make a life for myself with the man in my life.
Truth is, I was happy at times. I could go months without you crossing my mind.
Truth is, it would be the stupidest thing that brought you to the forefront. Like I am flipping channels one night and "The Mummy" is showing. BAM, I'm right back there in San Antonio walking along the river with you.
Truth is, I always hoped we would find each other again.
Truth is, I would have left in a heartbeat had you said "come back".
Truth is, that would have been a mistake for both of us. Not because "we" are wrong, but because "I" was reacting and not thinking.
Truth is, those I love the most in the world feel like this is going to end with me hurt even more.
Truth is, as much as I love them and respect their opinion, I don't care what they think. There were only two people in this relationship and we are the only two that can know what we felt. (To those dear friends that are reading this, I love you dearly and I know you come from a place of love. Please don't take my words wrong)
Truth is, never has the sound of someones voice made me smile the way that yours does.
Truth is, making love to you was the closest I have ever felt to perfect.
Truth is, I hate what I said to you. I would take it back and tell you I'd wait forever if only you would answer my call.
Truth is, I am putting my body through hell in the hopes that someday you will pass my way and fall in love all over again. I gave up all sugar...we all know how much I love sugar.
Truth is, you are worth it.
Truth is, I remember our conversation last year at this time talking about carving pumpkins and taking the kids trick or treating and wish it were you by our side this year.
Truth is, there are days I wonder if this is all a waste of time. Have I lost you for good?
Truth is, I can't even think about that because it would break my heart.
Truth is, I love you. I fell in love with you in San Antonio...
Truth is, I wish you would say something...anything...please.
Operation Skinny Aas
I thought about calling it Operation Skinny Bitch, but we already have a Skinny Bitch, so Ass worked best.
Last night my insane friends, Skinny Bitch, Skore, and pretty sure the Hag showed up at some point, decided to post some rather unflattering pictures of me from a Vegas trip a few years back. I haven't laughed that much since the trip. It also got me motivated.
I had already purchased the amazing jogging stroller and was ready to finally really give it a workout. I had done a few "trial runs", but nothing like what I had envisioned when I made this purchase. Finally today, I got my real walk/run in.
I woke up after some of the best sleep I have had in months, totally determined that this was the day. Caleb was still feeling puny, but I knew once he got to school, he would be fine. Besides...I had my walking to do. Emily and I get him dropped off and race back home. I quickly put some warmer clothes on her, grab my shoes, and prepare for our walk.
We have water for me. Juice for her. Two pedometers (neither of which worked so a trip to the store is on the list for today), the Kindle, Ipod, and phone. Em started with the Kindle and was quite disturbed that she lost WiFi the second we left the parking lot. That was quickly tossed into the basket and she chilled with the music on the ipod for a bit. I finally gave in and gave her the phone. She apparently wasn't enjoying my playlist, so she put on youtube and was jamming to her own tunes. This allowed me to unplug the ipod from the stroller, put my earbuds in, and go to town. By this time we had made it to the lake/park.
I took the 1.5 mile route around the park today. My feet were letting me know bandaids should be on my list as well since the shoes were rubbing a blister. Tomorrow, with the aid of those bandaids, I hope to take the 2 mile route. It was at least a 1.5 mile route I took TO the park, so we are at 3 miles so far and I still had the trip home.
I am going to get out later and mark it exactly so I have a better idea of how far it was and a great place to jump start from. We were about halfway around the park/lake when my body starts figuring out I am torturing it. I just kept on walking. I don't run due to a chronic issue with my knee. It can't take the pounding and my fat ass can't take the running. It works for us.
It was during the walk around the lake that I realized I was right to not drive to the park for the walk. Had I done so, I could have very easily cut the walk short by taking the halfway path and gone to the car. This way I had no choice. If I wanted to get home and sit down, my ass had to walk there.
The plan is to do this twice a day. Once in the morning with just myself and Emily and in the early evening with Caleb and Liz along for the trip. I fear my walks won't be as long when we add Caleb because he likes to ride his scooter so I have to be aware of where sidewalks are and are not, but I love having him come with me so if a shorter walk is required, so be it.
If I can keep this pace, by May I am pretty sure Operation Skinny Ass will be complete. When, not if as I almost typed, I drop the first twenty pounds, I am rewarding myself with a new belly ring piercing. It is the least I can do for myself.
Taking care of the whole "identity theft" issue and opening my own bank account? 100 bucks for the initial opening. New to me jogging stroller? 80 bucks. Learning that I am an independent woman worthy of so much more than this life I am living? Priceless.
Look out world...this time I mean it...HERE I COME!!!
Last night my insane friends, Skinny Bitch, Skore, and pretty sure the Hag showed up at some point, decided to post some rather unflattering pictures of me from a Vegas trip a few years back. I haven't laughed that much since the trip. It also got me motivated.
I had already purchased the amazing jogging stroller and was ready to finally really give it a workout. I had done a few "trial runs", but nothing like what I had envisioned when I made this purchase. Finally today, I got my real walk/run in.
I woke up after some of the best sleep I have had in months, totally determined that this was the day. Caleb was still feeling puny, but I knew once he got to school, he would be fine. Besides...I had my walking to do. Emily and I get him dropped off and race back home. I quickly put some warmer clothes on her, grab my shoes, and prepare for our walk.
We have water for me. Juice for her. Two pedometers (neither of which worked so a trip to the store is on the list for today), the Kindle, Ipod, and phone. Em started with the Kindle and was quite disturbed that she lost WiFi the second we left the parking lot. That was quickly tossed into the basket and she chilled with the music on the ipod for a bit. I finally gave in and gave her the phone. She apparently wasn't enjoying my playlist, so she put on youtube and was jamming to her own tunes. This allowed me to unplug the ipod from the stroller, put my earbuds in, and go to town. By this time we had made it to the lake/park.
I took the 1.5 mile route around the park today. My feet were letting me know bandaids should be on my list as well since the shoes were rubbing a blister. Tomorrow, with the aid of those bandaids, I hope to take the 2 mile route. It was at least a 1.5 mile route I took TO the park, so we are at 3 miles so far and I still had the trip home.
I am going to get out later and mark it exactly so I have a better idea of how far it was and a great place to jump start from. We were about halfway around the park/lake when my body starts figuring out I am torturing it. I just kept on walking. I don't run due to a chronic issue with my knee. It can't take the pounding and my fat ass can't take the running. It works for us.
It was during the walk around the lake that I realized I was right to not drive to the park for the walk. Had I done so, I could have very easily cut the walk short by taking the halfway path and gone to the car. This way I had no choice. If I wanted to get home and sit down, my ass had to walk there.
The plan is to do this twice a day. Once in the morning with just myself and Emily and in the early evening with Caleb and Liz along for the trip. I fear my walks won't be as long when we add Caleb because he likes to ride his scooter so I have to be aware of where sidewalks are and are not, but I love having him come with me so if a shorter walk is required, so be it.
If I can keep this pace, by May I am pretty sure Operation Skinny Ass will be complete. When, not if as I almost typed, I drop the first twenty pounds, I am rewarding myself with a new belly ring piercing. It is the least I can do for myself.
Taking care of the whole "identity theft" issue and opening my own bank account? 100 bucks for the initial opening. New to me jogging stroller? 80 bucks. Learning that I am an independent woman worthy of so much more than this life I am living? Priceless.
Look out world...this time I mean it...HERE I COME!!!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Not a freaking clue
I have no clue what I am going to write about. This works well for me over on momaroo so let's try "ramble blogging" and see where we end up.
Operation Skinny Ass is on. My jogging stroller is the bomb and we have big plans. Tomorrow we (the stroller and I) are taking Emily for a nice long walk at the beach. Mission has a wonderful path and with this puppy, we can cover quite a bit of distance. When Caleb gets home, we repeat the distance, only around here. I am figuring by the time we cover the distance to the lake, walk around it, and walk home, we are at 3 miles easy. 3 in the morning and 3 in the afternoon. Walk this shit off or die trying.
My Ipod has once again become my best friend. Nothing horrible is going on around here, but I feel myself just starting to taste independence and mentally checking out. The every day bullshit is (to quote T Swift) "so exhausting" and this brain needs a break.
I can't wait to get home to help out Whitney with the new baby and see my sweet baby B. I miss that little bugger so much. I also get to finally meet the new man in her life. I hope he is as fantastic in person as he seems now. Baby girl deserves happy.
My morning walk was cancelled due to Emily having serious tummy issues. Thankfully, a strong shot of the miracle drugs seems to have helped. She will be on heavy doses all week long to help get her regulated and then hopefully I can wean her off to normal doses to maintain. That child is amazing with how she deals with this stuff day in and day out.
I am hoping to squeeze in a walk tonight with Caleb and Em. It is the most relaxing thing I have done in a long time. I just plug the ipod in and Emily starts singing along and off we go. I forgot how awesome Cragislist could be for deals. A like new jogging stroller for 80 bucks. The ipod dock was the clincher. Caleb has already discovered he can plug my phone in as well and jam to his favorite songs on Youtube. I am raising two music crazy kids and I love it.
Except at times like this where Emily is sitting right next to me blaring One Direction. Even with my earbuds in, I can hear them. Ugh...not my type of music AT ALL. Thankfully, I control the tunes when we walk and my playlist is all we work from.
Okay, that is my ramble for the day. Drunk blogging later tonight if you are lucky.
Operation Skinny Ass is on. My jogging stroller is the bomb and we have big plans. Tomorrow we (the stroller and I) are taking Emily for a nice long walk at the beach. Mission has a wonderful path and with this puppy, we can cover quite a bit of distance. When Caleb gets home, we repeat the distance, only around here. I am figuring by the time we cover the distance to the lake, walk around it, and walk home, we are at 3 miles easy. 3 in the morning and 3 in the afternoon. Walk this shit off or die trying.
My Ipod has once again become my best friend. Nothing horrible is going on around here, but I feel myself just starting to taste independence and mentally checking out. The every day bullshit is (to quote T Swift) "so exhausting" and this brain needs a break.
I can't wait to get home to help out Whitney with the new baby and see my sweet baby B. I miss that little bugger so much. I also get to finally meet the new man in her life. I hope he is as fantastic in person as he seems now. Baby girl deserves happy.
My morning walk was cancelled due to Emily having serious tummy issues. Thankfully, a strong shot of the miracle drugs seems to have helped. She will be on heavy doses all week long to help get her regulated and then hopefully I can wean her off to normal doses to maintain. That child is amazing with how she deals with this stuff day in and day out.
I am hoping to squeeze in a walk tonight with Caleb and Em. It is the most relaxing thing I have done in a long time. I just plug the ipod in and Emily starts singing along and off we go. I forgot how awesome Cragislist could be for deals. A like new jogging stroller for 80 bucks. The ipod dock was the clincher. Caleb has already discovered he can plug my phone in as well and jam to his favorite songs on Youtube. I am raising two music crazy kids and I love it.
Except at times like this where Emily is sitting right next to me blaring One Direction. Even with my earbuds in, I can hear them. Ugh...not my type of music AT ALL. Thankfully, I control the tunes when we walk and my playlist is all we work from.
Okay, that is my ramble for the day. Drunk blogging later tonight if you are lucky.
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