I knew this weekend would be difficult for my workouts. I loathe change in my routines and having all the kids home was a change. I figured out how to work it out yesterday and was confident I could do the same today. Unfortunately, I didn't put myself first and am paying for it now.
Grocery shopping needed to be done. I promised Liz she could walk with me, etc. Instead of grabbing Emily and going the second I got up, I sat here waiting for Liz to get up. By the time grocery shopping was done and I was home, it was 10:30 and she was still asleep. I finally got her up and we headed out at 11. Did I mention it is 90 degrees?
I didn't even make it to the end of the street before I had sucked down almost half my water bottle. That same bottle that typically doesn't get touched until I am well more than halfway through the entire walk. I knew I was doomed. I made the decision that it wasn't going to happen. I was already covered in sweat and my water (which is a necessary evil for a girl with panic attacks) was not going to get me even to the lake, much less the entire walk.
I felt so frustrated and defeated turning back. I allowed myself a five minute pity party and then re-evaluated the day. I had spent the morning cleaning, that counts. I walked around the grocery store for an hour, that counted. I made it not quite a mile on the ill fated walk, that counted. While it is not the four miles I wanted, it was something and the day isn't over. I will get those four miles in before the moon hits the sky.
Caleb is begging me to go swimming and honestly, it is warm enough. Maybe I should just give in and swim some laps for something different. It really isn't important how I get the exercise in, just that I do.
I did find some great alternative to my Pop Tart addiction. Yes, pop tarts were thrown out with the "no sugar" rule. It was a sad day, but Special K has their own slightly different version. I am looking forward to my 100 calorie non Pop Tarts in the morning. I am sure they will be just as delicious as my 90 calorie brownies.
I need to get up and do something before I allow myself to listen to the inner demon telling me to "take the day off". Not.Going.To.Happen.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Changing it up a bit
I knew the weekend would present me with hurdles. I was prepared for it. The oldest had a school function early this morning which meant I could either drag Caleb with me for a shorter walk or figure out something else. Emily woke up even croupier than yesterday and did not look like a candidate to get out at 7 am and walk in the cold.
I pondered it for a bit and decided that the house could stand my attention. So, instead of the morning walk, I spent the morning cleaning the house top to bottom and had the oldest promise he would watch the little ones tonight so I could take my walk alone. I will NOT simply skip the walk. That isn't going to happen. This is far too important to me.
Now the house is clean and I am bored. My body is begging to get out and take a walk. My eyes then glance at the sick little girl on the couch and realize that just isn't fair to her. I typically bundle her up and just go, but today is different. She feels terrible and Caleb can't be left here with the demon spawn so chances are the walk would not be that long anyway.
I was going through the toy closet today thinking "this needs to go, when did we get that? WTH is this?" Time to do some purging. Monday morning I will be making a run to the donation center. With Christmas coming up, we are already bursting at the seams and I really have to thin out some of the stuff.
I have kicked the idea around of selling Em's playhouse. Since the move, it sits out on the patio and she rarely goes out to play in it. Part of me says hold on to it for the future...I don't know what kind of housing we will have a year from now, but the other part says "where in the hell are you going to put that thing during the transition?" It is HUGE.
For now it remains on the patio. No decisions need to be made today. Things have been calm and so I should still have plenty of time to work out those details.
In a few weeks I will actually get a weekend (at least part of it) to myself. It has been so long since I have been here alone. The man is taking the kids to visit his family for some reunion thing and oddly enough, I have no desire to go. I assume it will be during that weekend he will inform them of the decisions, so it should be a fun "Ange is an absolute Bitch" type weekend. I plan on hanging out here and reacquainting myself with the hot tub.
I am fairly certain that he will also leave for the holidays. There was talk about him staying here this year, but since the "talk" he seems more resolved to just go. I hope he does. I need the break in all honesty. If so, another day of just me and the hot tub. Just hope crazy ex neighbor doesn't come over and catch me. *shudder*
I was seriously skittish the first time Em and I went back to the lake following his "surprise" visit the other day. Here she is holding my very non lost phone and I look like the big liar that I was. Thankfully we didn't see them. I just worry because they live right across the street and I have to pass in front of their complex twice on the route. Ugh..if Lake Jennings weren't so far down, we would go there instead, but that requires me to drive and then walk. That just seems silly. I will deal with the potential uncovering of my lies.
He mentioned he had been trying to locate me on Facebook. Good luck with that. My first name is spelled really oddly and you will never get it right. Add to that the fact I misspelled my last name when you asked me how to spell it and I feel pretty confident I won't be found. Yes, I am a horrible person. I am aware.
Getting my nails done yesterday was a nice treat. I haven't had it done in months. I didn't even have to dip into my funds. The man had offered to do it weeks ago and so I took that as "sure, use my money" yesterday when I hit the salon. See my above "horrible person" comment. :)
Oh well, in a few hours I can get my workout in and then hopefully crash for the night. If Em isn't better tomorrow, to the doctor we go.
I pondered it for a bit and decided that the house could stand my attention. So, instead of the morning walk, I spent the morning cleaning the house top to bottom and had the oldest promise he would watch the little ones tonight so I could take my walk alone. I will NOT simply skip the walk. That isn't going to happen. This is far too important to me.
Now the house is clean and I am bored. My body is begging to get out and take a walk. My eyes then glance at the sick little girl on the couch and realize that just isn't fair to her. I typically bundle her up and just go, but today is different. She feels terrible and Caleb can't be left here with the demon spawn so chances are the walk would not be that long anyway.
I was going through the toy closet today thinking "this needs to go, when did we get that? WTH is this?" Time to do some purging. Monday morning I will be making a run to the donation center. With Christmas coming up, we are already bursting at the seams and I really have to thin out some of the stuff.
I have kicked the idea around of selling Em's playhouse. Since the move, it sits out on the patio and she rarely goes out to play in it. Part of me says hold on to it for the future...I don't know what kind of housing we will have a year from now, but the other part says "where in the hell are you going to put that thing during the transition?" It is HUGE.
For now it remains on the patio. No decisions need to be made today. Things have been calm and so I should still have plenty of time to work out those details.
In a few weeks I will actually get a weekend (at least part of it) to myself. It has been so long since I have been here alone. The man is taking the kids to visit his family for some reunion thing and oddly enough, I have no desire to go. I assume it will be during that weekend he will inform them of the decisions, so it should be a fun "Ange is an absolute Bitch" type weekend. I plan on hanging out here and reacquainting myself with the hot tub.
I am fairly certain that he will also leave for the holidays. There was talk about him staying here this year, but since the "talk" he seems more resolved to just go. I hope he does. I need the break in all honesty. If so, another day of just me and the hot tub. Just hope crazy ex neighbor doesn't come over and catch me. *shudder*
I was seriously skittish the first time Em and I went back to the lake following his "surprise" visit the other day. Here she is holding my very non lost phone and I look like the big liar that I was. Thankfully we didn't see them. I just worry because they live right across the street and I have to pass in front of their complex twice on the route. Ugh..if Lake Jennings weren't so far down, we would go there instead, but that requires me to drive and then walk. That just seems silly. I will deal with the potential uncovering of my lies.
He mentioned he had been trying to locate me on Facebook. Good luck with that. My first name is spelled really oddly and you will never get it right. Add to that the fact I misspelled my last name when you asked me how to spell it and I feel pretty confident I won't be found. Yes, I am a horrible person. I am aware.
Getting my nails done yesterday was a nice treat. I haven't had it done in months. I didn't even have to dip into my funds. The man had offered to do it weeks ago and so I took that as "sure, use my money" yesterday when I hit the salon. See my above "horrible person" comment. :)
Oh well, in a few hours I can get my workout in and then hopefully crash for the night. If Em isn't better tomorrow, to the doctor we go.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Never blog medicated
It's another late night and I am sitting here waiting for my melatonin to kick in. So, why am I here? Boredom I guess.
The workouts are going great. Emily is a fantastic motivator. Watching her dance and hearing her sing to the ipod can bring me back from the brink of giving up quicker than anything I know. I have made my preset goal each day even when I have had to convince myself to get out the door.
I am a bit worried about tomorrow. It is the weekend and everyone is home. Caleb has been dying to go with us on our walks, but I can't let him take his scooter since he doesn't have a helmet. This means that he will need to walk the entire four miles. I can see a mile in and him pooping out on me. Short of carrying him on my back (which is not happening), he will have to walk. I don't want to discourage his coming, but I want to be realistic. In the end, if the walk is a bit shorter tomorrow, so be it.
I have to keep reminding myself, and those around me, that this is not a sprint I am doing. It is more a marathon. I don't pay too close attention to how long the four miles takes me. Keep in mind, I have traffic (a bit) and a stroller to contend with. One of the boys made the comment that I walked extremely slow if it was taking me an hour to walk the four miles. I'm not walking a track. I am walking in our neighborhood. I have lots of roads to turn on, hills to climb, etc. I'm not trying to break any records here. I am just trying to get my body back to a place that doesn't horrify me.
It is so frustrating to know how hard I am working and get so little understanding. Yes, I am sure at 17, I could have done this in under fifteen minutes, but guess what...I'm not 17 any longer. I have given birth to five children. I have allowed myself to get lazy and out of shape. At 17 I was working out two hours per day five days a week with the drill/dance team. I was dancing two nights a week for three hours per night at dance class. I was freakishly fit. At (whatever age I am now) I am not that same tiny girl.
I'm not saying I need a cheerleading team standing outside and cheering me on, but the negative comments need to stop. This is my journey and I am proud of all that I have done thus far. I have such a long way to go, but I am off to a great start.
I don't do scales, so I'm not sure how I am going to handle the "where am I at weight wise" as of yet. I am considering getting a scale and keeping it elsewhere until I weigh in every two weeks. I want to go at least two weeks between weigh ins simply because it takes time and the last thing I need to see is a plateau.
My weight loss goal is simply to rock my bikini come next summer. Well, actually late April/early May. Caleb, Emily, and myself are going back home to help Whitney with the baby and I plan on meeting up with a dear friend of mine for some fun at the lake while I am there. She has this amazing body and I would like us to be two hot mama's enjoying the sun.
I have a great bikini, but the bottoms have always fit my body poorly. Thankfully I had some different cut bottoms that were the same color and I have worn those the past summer. Next year, I want the skimpier bottoms and I am going to do it.
I would love to do some before/during/and after pics, but I hate my body so much that I hate the idea of taking a pic. If you notice, the only pictures I ever post are of my face and those are so carefully planned out you would think my life depended on it.I end up discarding far more than I keep.
I am hoping to get some decent sleep tonight so I am ready to face tomorrow. Caleb has already requested I get donuts for breakfast. Um, honey...did you not get the memo that Mommy isn't doing sugar? Thankfully, it has been relatively simple giving up that vice and I am pretty sure I can get them donuts without feeling the need to eat some myself. Although I swear, if one more person offers me candy/cake/cookies...I might need bail money.
It almost seems like they want to test me. Trust me, if I can go to Sonic three times this week for happy hour and walk away with unsweetened tea as opposed to a cherry coke...your stupid cookie isn't going to do me in. It is times like this that I am really glad I don't live near family. I love my mom dearly, but she has a habit of feeding you...constantly. I would spend most of my day turning down food.
Well, I think the meds are kicking in and I hope I didn't say anything stupid...day six is tomorrow...I'm ready to kick its ass and take names.
The workouts are going great. Emily is a fantastic motivator. Watching her dance and hearing her sing to the ipod can bring me back from the brink of giving up quicker than anything I know. I have made my preset goal each day even when I have had to convince myself to get out the door.
I am a bit worried about tomorrow. It is the weekend and everyone is home. Caleb has been dying to go with us on our walks, but I can't let him take his scooter since he doesn't have a helmet. This means that he will need to walk the entire four miles. I can see a mile in and him pooping out on me. Short of carrying him on my back (which is not happening), he will have to walk. I don't want to discourage his coming, but I want to be realistic. In the end, if the walk is a bit shorter tomorrow, so be it.
I have to keep reminding myself, and those around me, that this is not a sprint I am doing. It is more a marathon. I don't pay too close attention to how long the four miles takes me. Keep in mind, I have traffic (a bit) and a stroller to contend with. One of the boys made the comment that I walked extremely slow if it was taking me an hour to walk the four miles. I'm not walking a track. I am walking in our neighborhood. I have lots of roads to turn on, hills to climb, etc. I'm not trying to break any records here. I am just trying to get my body back to a place that doesn't horrify me.
It is so frustrating to know how hard I am working and get so little understanding. Yes, I am sure at 17, I could have done this in under fifteen minutes, but guess what...I'm not 17 any longer. I have given birth to five children. I have allowed myself to get lazy and out of shape. At 17 I was working out two hours per day five days a week with the drill/dance team. I was dancing two nights a week for three hours per night at dance class. I was freakishly fit. At (whatever age I am now) I am not that same tiny girl.
I'm not saying I need a cheerleading team standing outside and cheering me on, but the negative comments need to stop. This is my journey and I am proud of all that I have done thus far. I have such a long way to go, but I am off to a great start.
I don't do scales, so I'm not sure how I am going to handle the "where am I at weight wise" as of yet. I am considering getting a scale and keeping it elsewhere until I weigh in every two weeks. I want to go at least two weeks between weigh ins simply because it takes time and the last thing I need to see is a plateau.
My weight loss goal is simply to rock my bikini come next summer. Well, actually late April/early May. Caleb, Emily, and myself are going back home to help Whitney with the baby and I plan on meeting up with a dear friend of mine for some fun at the lake while I am there. She has this amazing body and I would like us to be two hot mama's enjoying the sun.
I have a great bikini, but the bottoms have always fit my body poorly. Thankfully I had some different cut bottoms that were the same color and I have worn those the past summer. Next year, I want the skimpier bottoms and I am going to do it.
I would love to do some before/during/and after pics, but I hate my body so much that I hate the idea of taking a pic. If you notice, the only pictures I ever post are of my face and those are so carefully planned out you would think my life depended on it.I end up discarding far more than I keep.
I am hoping to get some decent sleep tonight so I am ready to face tomorrow. Caleb has already requested I get donuts for breakfast. Um, honey...did you not get the memo that Mommy isn't doing sugar? Thankfully, it has been relatively simple giving up that vice and I am pretty sure I can get them donuts without feeling the need to eat some myself. Although I swear, if one more person offers me candy/cake/cookies...I might need bail money.
It almost seems like they want to test me. Trust me, if I can go to Sonic three times this week for happy hour and walk away with unsweetened tea as opposed to a cherry coke...your stupid cookie isn't going to do me in. It is times like this that I am really glad I don't live near family. I love my mom dearly, but she has a habit of feeding you...constantly. I would spend most of my day turning down food.
Well, I think the meds are kicking in and I hope I didn't say anything stupid...day six is tomorrow...I'm ready to kick its ass and take names.
And so it begins
I think I said no life updates and I don't think I am breaking that promise with this one. I am not discussing my goals or future plans. Just rehashing something that happened last night.
As most of you that read my blog regularly know, I am in a very unhappy marriage. We have moments of happy, but those are few and far between as of late. I can honestly say that "happy" hasn't been in this house in about five years. We survive. After so many years of "surviving" you forget that this isn't what happy feels like.
We don't communicate well at all, which is why last night came as a bit of a surprise. I had a raging caffeine headache and was really not in the mood for a deep discussion which is always the time he wants to have these life altering talks.
I finally gave in because I knew that was the quickest way to get some sleep. Never in my life have I been so honest with him. I just told him I had completely checked out and didn't think I could ever find my place in this relationship again. I simply ceased to care enough to try any longer.
He didn't enjoy hearing that, but I told him down the road, when he looks back, he will see I didn't make him very happy either and he will be glad this happened. In all honesty, I checked out of this relationship five years or so ago. My kids kept me here as well as the fear of going out on my own with the two little ones.
While I won't discuss any future plans, I will say that it is now quite clear where we stand with one another. With him, this could go very calmly or could suddenly erupt into a nightmare. I am praying for calm for reasons I can't discuss.
For now my focus is on making whatever transitions the children must undergo in the next several months, smooth and as painless as possible. I have said quite firmly more than once that our sole concern should be those two babies and making sure they understand both their parents love them and will always do whatever necessary to protect them.
It was a difficult yet somewhat weight lifting conversation. This morning I felt more than ready to hit the trail and take Emily for our morning walk. I felt such a sense of relief knowing that the pretending ended last night. No more putting a smile on my face and discussing "our" future. We do not have one as a couple, and I am perfectly okay with that.
As most of you that read my blog regularly know, I am in a very unhappy marriage. We have moments of happy, but those are few and far between as of late. I can honestly say that "happy" hasn't been in this house in about five years. We survive. After so many years of "surviving" you forget that this isn't what happy feels like.
We don't communicate well at all, which is why last night came as a bit of a surprise. I had a raging caffeine headache and was really not in the mood for a deep discussion which is always the time he wants to have these life altering talks.
I finally gave in because I knew that was the quickest way to get some sleep. Never in my life have I been so honest with him. I just told him I had completely checked out and didn't think I could ever find my place in this relationship again. I simply ceased to care enough to try any longer.
He didn't enjoy hearing that, but I told him down the road, when he looks back, he will see I didn't make him very happy either and he will be glad this happened. In all honesty, I checked out of this relationship five years or so ago. My kids kept me here as well as the fear of going out on my own with the two little ones.
While I won't discuss any future plans, I will say that it is now quite clear where we stand with one another. With him, this could go very calmly or could suddenly erupt into a nightmare. I am praying for calm for reasons I can't discuss.
For now my focus is on making whatever transitions the children must undergo in the next several months, smooth and as painless as possible. I have said quite firmly more than once that our sole concern should be those two babies and making sure they understand both their parents love them and will always do whatever necessary to protect them.
It was a difficult yet somewhat weight lifting conversation. This morning I felt more than ready to hit the trail and take Emily for our morning walk. I felt such a sense of relief knowing that the pretending ended last night. No more putting a smile on my face and discussing "our" future. We do not have one as a couple, and I am perfectly okay with that.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Negativity can kiss my ass
The day started out AMAZING. I got a phone call at 6 am (who does that?) that was nothing but great news that put a smile on my face and made me happy. By 8:20 I had totally put that out of my head and was starting to have a meltdown. I couldn't find Caleb's school binder (still have no clue where that thing is), Em is sick and really feeling yucky, I needed to get cash at the store before dropping Caleb off, and a whole bunch of other nonsense. I could feel my tension rising and realized it had to stop.
A friend once told me that after you spend time in a difficult relationship, your body begins to crave that adrenaline that comes from the constant walking on egg shells, so that even when life is calm (especially when life is calm) your body makes you feel there is something wrong and you try and trigger the stress it craves.
Textbook case this morning. Things were going well, extremely well, so how could I sabotage it? I almost did, but today I stopped myself and said no way. Today I didn't allow myself to go to that dark place.
I shook off the bad mood as best I could and told myself no matter what, Emily and I were taking our walk. I did change the location from the beach to here at home around the lake as usual. Emily is really sick with a cold and the last thing she needed was that ocean breeze.
Because of trick or treating last night, the stroller was in the back of my car, which was perfect. I didn't even have to come in and look at all the things I needed to to around the house and give myself the chance to cancel the walk. We got home from dropping Caleb off and loaded up in the stroller and headed out.
I can't say it was easy or I had some magic epiphany. I can say it felt good. Emily loves these morning walks and I do as well. I was doing some mental debating as we began trying to convince myself if I didn't feel like walking the whole way, that would be okay. I could walk to the end of the block and just turn around and head home. That counted, right? NO, it doesn't.
The end of the block came and I told myself that the route stayed the same no matter what. I had to chant "eye on the prize" about a million times, but before long we were at the lake. Oh, what fun that was.
I think I have mentioned the um, somewhat disturbed, homeless man that typically stands outside the 7-11 with a sign that reads "Obama sucks...vote Romney". He is out there for hours. Well, not today. Oh no, today he was dumpster diving at the lake. Lucky me. There is one large path around the lake. He was going the same way on the path that I happened to be going. At every turn he had to remind me that Obama "sucked" and that I should vote for Romney. Why thank you, I take all my political advice from homeless men dumpster diving.
I finally got ahead of him and happily finished the walk around the lake and began the walk back home. We had just walked inside our gates when who do I see? Yes, Romney's campaign manager. Great, now he knows where I live. Would it be wrong to wear an "Obama" shirt tomorrow for my walk?
Today negativity tried to get the better of me, but I am pleased to say I kicked its ass. Will I do it tomorrow? I can't say for sure, but I can say I am damn sure going to try.
Now time to run some errands and have a wonderful rest of my day.
A friend once told me that after you spend time in a difficult relationship, your body begins to crave that adrenaline that comes from the constant walking on egg shells, so that even when life is calm (especially when life is calm) your body makes you feel there is something wrong and you try and trigger the stress it craves.
Textbook case this morning. Things were going well, extremely well, so how could I sabotage it? I almost did, but today I stopped myself and said no way. Today I didn't allow myself to go to that dark place.
I shook off the bad mood as best I could and told myself no matter what, Emily and I were taking our walk. I did change the location from the beach to here at home around the lake as usual. Emily is really sick with a cold and the last thing she needed was that ocean breeze.
Because of trick or treating last night, the stroller was in the back of my car, which was perfect. I didn't even have to come in and look at all the things I needed to to around the house and give myself the chance to cancel the walk. We got home from dropping Caleb off and loaded up in the stroller and headed out.
I can't say it was easy or I had some magic epiphany. I can say it felt good. Emily loves these morning walks and I do as well. I was doing some mental debating as we began trying to convince myself if I didn't feel like walking the whole way, that would be okay. I could walk to the end of the block and just turn around and head home. That counted, right? NO, it doesn't.
The end of the block came and I told myself that the route stayed the same no matter what. I had to chant "eye on the prize" about a million times, but before long we were at the lake. Oh, what fun that was.
I think I have mentioned the um, somewhat disturbed, homeless man that typically stands outside the 7-11 with a sign that reads "Obama sucks...vote Romney". He is out there for hours. Well, not today. Oh no, today he was dumpster diving at the lake. Lucky me. There is one large path around the lake. He was going the same way on the path that I happened to be going. At every turn he had to remind me that Obama "sucked" and that I should vote for Romney. Why thank you, I take all my political advice from homeless men dumpster diving.
I finally got ahead of him and happily finished the walk around the lake and began the walk back home. We had just walked inside our gates when who do I see? Yes, Romney's campaign manager. Great, now he knows where I live. Would it be wrong to wear an "Obama" shirt tomorrow for my walk?
Today negativity tried to get the better of me, but I am pleased to say I kicked its ass. Will I do it tomorrow? I can't say for sure, but I can say I am damn sure going to try.
Now time to run some errands and have a wonderful rest of my day.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
OSA Day 3
Today was a change. I went walking with a friend over in her neighborhood. We thought a change of scenery would be nice and it would give us a chance to talk. Yes, I do have local friends, no matter what people think.
The walk was a bit shorter than what I have been doing, but there was this nasty hill than kind of sneaks up on you. It wasn't a HILL in the sense of OMG that is one hell of a hill, but more a "you can do this, I am more like a ramp...no biggie" until you start walking up it. It then becomes Mt. Everest and handed me my ass on a platter. The upside was that I was worried the shorter walk would not be enough for me. I am pleased to say, it was more than enough.
We rushed home and chilled for a bit before time to go back to Caleb's school for "family lunch day". Thankfully he wanted something different than the norm, so I had no lines to wait in to pick up his food. Double score that I convinced him that signing him out and coming home to eat would be way more fun. Poor thing was ready since I totally forgot to pack him a change of clothes for after the costume parade and he was sweating like crazy.
Now we are home and getting ready to finish up his homework so he can go out tonight without worry. My legs are not near as sore as yesterday and my feet have agreed to a temporary truce, so I am thinking this is working.
I keep getting a few people that are amazed I can give up sugar without much trouble. The truth is, with the exception of soda (which I kind of weaned off of a few months ago) and sweet tea, I don't do sugar. I am not a huge cookie or candy person, so it isn't that difficult. When I was about twelve, my mom met my step dad and since he preferred no sugar, she stopped making sweet tea. I could either sweeten my own or learn to deal. I learned to deal and can drink it unsweetened fairly easily.
I have a goal and my eye is very firmly focused on the prize. Thanks to a very dear friend that kind of put it all into perspective, I know where my focus should be and the rest just has to figure itself out later.
Seems we will be trick or treating in our old neighborhood again. Caleb expressed his desire to drive over, so my plans on staying close to home have been altered. Hey, I can go with the flow and I know the route over there far better than over here, so we know he will get tons of candy.
I will be posting pics tomorrow. I can't wait to see Emily actually in her costume. I have refused to let her wear it before since I knew she wouldn't want to take it off. Last year it was almost Christmas before she wouldn't ask to put her Olivia costume on, and this one is so super cute, I didn't want it ruined.
So, there you have it Operation Skinny Ass day 3 was an ass kicker and we are going out begging for candy tonight. Good times.
The walk was a bit shorter than what I have been doing, but there was this nasty hill than kind of sneaks up on you. It wasn't a HILL in the sense of OMG that is one hell of a hill, but more a "you can do this, I am more like a ramp...no biggie" until you start walking up it. It then becomes Mt. Everest and handed me my ass on a platter. The upside was that I was worried the shorter walk would not be enough for me. I am pleased to say, it was more than enough.
We rushed home and chilled for a bit before time to go back to Caleb's school for "family lunch day". Thankfully he wanted something different than the norm, so I had no lines to wait in to pick up his food. Double score that I convinced him that signing him out and coming home to eat would be way more fun. Poor thing was ready since I totally forgot to pack him a change of clothes for after the costume parade and he was sweating like crazy.
Now we are home and getting ready to finish up his homework so he can go out tonight without worry. My legs are not near as sore as yesterday and my feet have agreed to a temporary truce, so I am thinking this is working.
I keep getting a few people that are amazed I can give up sugar without much trouble. The truth is, with the exception of soda (which I kind of weaned off of a few months ago) and sweet tea, I don't do sugar. I am not a huge cookie or candy person, so it isn't that difficult. When I was about twelve, my mom met my step dad and since he preferred no sugar, she stopped making sweet tea. I could either sweeten my own or learn to deal. I learned to deal and can drink it unsweetened fairly easily.
I have a goal and my eye is very firmly focused on the prize. Thanks to a very dear friend that kind of put it all into perspective, I know where my focus should be and the rest just has to figure itself out later.
Seems we will be trick or treating in our old neighborhood again. Caleb expressed his desire to drive over, so my plans on staying close to home have been altered. Hey, I can go with the flow and I know the route over there far better than over here, so we know he will get tons of candy.
I will be posting pics tomorrow. I can't wait to see Emily actually in her costume. I have refused to let her wear it before since I knew she wouldn't want to take it off. Last year it was almost Christmas before she wouldn't ask to put her Olivia costume on, and this one is so super cute, I didn't want it ruined.
So, there you have it Operation Skinny Ass day 3 was an ass kicker and we are going out begging for candy tonight. Good times.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Operation Skinny Ass
Day 2
OMG is all I can say. I went from being a fairly inactive (as inactive as a mom of five can be) to a walking machine. Yes, I realize that my distance leaves a lot to be desired, but since this is only day 2, I am pretty happy to report I made it 3.8 miles today. That is .5 more than yesterday.
My body fought me all morning long. I didn't want to go. My legs were sore. I won't even mention my poor feet and the condition they are in, but I knew I HAD to go. Thankfully I have some awesome friends on Facebook that were ready to kick my ass if I didn't get out there.
It would have been so simple to take a shorter route today and just pacify myself with "at least I walked", but once I got out I knew this would be the route I had planned after yesterdays walk. My goal was to increase my distance while making the best use of the lake path. I thought about it all last night and realized with just a simple route change, I could add that .5 to my workout.
So, Miss Emily and I dropped Caleb off at school, came home, and off we went. I knew that if I gave it even a seconds thought, I would come up with some reason why today's walk should be cancelled. The man (who was home since he worked last night) did his best to discourage me without sounding discouraging. I didn't even look back to see what he was saying, we just headed out the door.
Getting started had to be the most difficult today. By the time I had made it halfway down the road I was thinking how much longer it seemed as opposed to yesterday. Emily is the best partner though. She insisted I take the earbuds out and we enjoy the music through the speakers on the stroller. Hearing her sing along got me giggling and the journey became a bit easier. In no time we were at the lake.
Today's path required a bit of winding around in order to maximize the full path and get the miles in needed. We set out and found our rhythm pretty easily. Soon, Em grew tired of my music and wanted the phone. Earbuds went back in and pretty quickly we were done with the 1.5 route of the lake. Now off the path and the longer route back home.
I seriously thought that last bit was going to be the end of me. I was DRAGGING and still had over a mile before we were home. No way in hell was I going to call for someone to come pick us up. We were so close. I could do this.
I put some Train on and I just pushed my way each step. By the time we reached our road, I was thrilled. I had done what I didn't think I could and felt great. Okay, maybe "great" is an over statement. Truth be told, my feet are killing me, my legs are burning, and I feel like I got hit by a mack truck, BUT overall I feel great.
Tomorrow we are sticking to our 3.8 path. I want to push myself without killing myself. Day 2 without sugar and sweets is going okay. I just keep telling myself that nothing taste as good as skinny feels.
I am off to beg my feet for forgiveness. See you on Day Three.
OMG is all I can say. I went from being a fairly inactive (as inactive as a mom of five can be) to a walking machine. Yes, I realize that my distance leaves a lot to be desired, but since this is only day 2, I am pretty happy to report I made it 3.8 miles today. That is .5 more than yesterday.
My body fought me all morning long. I didn't want to go. My legs were sore. I won't even mention my poor feet and the condition they are in, but I knew I HAD to go. Thankfully I have some awesome friends on Facebook that were ready to kick my ass if I didn't get out there.
It would have been so simple to take a shorter route today and just pacify myself with "at least I walked", but once I got out I knew this would be the route I had planned after yesterdays walk. My goal was to increase my distance while making the best use of the lake path. I thought about it all last night and realized with just a simple route change, I could add that .5 to my workout.
So, Miss Emily and I dropped Caleb off at school, came home, and off we went. I knew that if I gave it even a seconds thought, I would come up with some reason why today's walk should be cancelled. The man (who was home since he worked last night) did his best to discourage me without sounding discouraging. I didn't even look back to see what he was saying, we just headed out the door.
Getting started had to be the most difficult today. By the time I had made it halfway down the road I was thinking how much longer it seemed as opposed to yesterday. Emily is the best partner though. She insisted I take the earbuds out and we enjoy the music through the speakers on the stroller. Hearing her sing along got me giggling and the journey became a bit easier. In no time we were at the lake.
Today's path required a bit of winding around in order to maximize the full path and get the miles in needed. We set out and found our rhythm pretty easily. Soon, Em grew tired of my music and wanted the phone. Earbuds went back in and pretty quickly we were done with the 1.5 route of the lake. Now off the path and the longer route back home.
I seriously thought that last bit was going to be the end of me. I was DRAGGING and still had over a mile before we were home. No way in hell was I going to call for someone to come pick us up. We were so close. I could do this.
I put some Train on and I just pushed my way each step. By the time we reached our road, I was thrilled. I had done what I didn't think I could and felt great. Okay, maybe "great" is an over statement. Truth be told, my feet are killing me, my legs are burning, and I feel like I got hit by a mack truck, BUT overall I feel great.
Tomorrow we are sticking to our 3.8 path. I want to push myself without killing myself. Day 2 without sugar and sweets is going okay. I just keep telling myself that nothing taste as good as skinny feels.
I am off to beg my feet for forgiveness. See you on Day Three.
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